Now because I know that scripture says that faith without work is dead, I exerted myself at my work, going to lengths outside my comfort zone to ensure that the team didn’t fall behind. Fast forward a few months down the line, I had just received my annual reward letter, and with what I saw, I had no intentions of going back to the office the next day.
I was quiet all day musing over what could have possibly gone wrong. Did I not pray well enough? Did I not work hard enough despite the manpower shortage in the team? Was my output that crappy? Dozens of questions were running through my mind, but I just wasn’t settled enough to answer them so I subconsciously left the query until I get to my power spot where I could query God for failing to show up.
You know the devil has a funny way of doing things, all around me, people were being promoted and there was joy and celebration amongst almost everyone else. It seemed like it was only the extremely excited ones that were coming my way, so I would smile and celebrate with them, but though I was genuinely happy for them, I was very disappointed with God.
Personally, I know that I had never prior to that time worked as hard as I did in that year and my letter was in no way a reflection of the year that had gone by. So after work, I packed up my things, cleared my desk and was going to send in my letter in the morning.
As I was preparing to leave, my boss calls me to come and discuss the letter, and as we sat there talking, I just knew that there was more to the letter I had just received, so it was way easier to forgive. I was still going to turn in my letter in the morning, but I was not holding any grudge with anyone and it was an unusual peace and quiet.
Leaving the office, I was angry that I couldn’t be angrier about the entire situation, so I turned to the one person that I know how to relate with and poured the anger at Him. Lord how could this be my rating and you didn’t even have the courtesy of giving me a heads up or showing me. To even add insult to the injury, this came at a time when I had just started praying about work. I moaned and complained and cried and screamed almost hurling insults at God for being an unfaithful friend.
Have you ever been in that place where you feel like God is not fair? You just feel that He failed to answer you and He is busy answering everyone else. You have prayed, fasted, gone to prayer mountains and camps, sown seeds, taken your bath with anointing oil and scrubbed every inch of your body with anointed handkerchiefs #justjoking, but you catch my drift; yet God refuses to answer you. It just isn’t a very nice place to be in.
But as frustrating as the circumstances were, I still had this unusual calm and quiet. My wife was pregnant at the time, so I couldn’t share what I was going through with her (she actually will be hearing this for the first time with you as she reads this post as this is the first time ever I am sharing that experience). After she had gone to bed, I came out to the sitting room still very frustrated and angry at God. How can He be this wicked and inconsiderate?
So you resign, what would that solve He asked?
I don’t know, I responded, but at least I will take my efforts to a place where it would be appreciated.
Don’t you teach people that you don’t make life decisions based on your emotions? He continued
Lord why are You asking me useless questions, who said I am making emotional decisions here?
Are you not? He asked
There are times when I feel God is just a tad bit insensitive and I felt like lashing out at Him, but I had a restraint to just think about what He had just asked. So in a bid to gain clarity, I asked; so Lord tell me what just happened.
Son, why do you love Me?
I love You because you first loved me, I responded.
Why do you work? He asked
I work because I have to, if you don’t work, you don’t eat (I was trying to be spiritual with God lol).
So with or without your rating, you still have to work right?
Does your rating change who I am?
No Lord, it doesn’t.
Would your rating change your love for Me?
No Lord, it won’t, it can’t.
At this point, I got the lesson.
You know when we pray about a matter, subconsciously we expect that from that point onwards, everything will become a smooth sail and there should be no issues at all. Often at the first sight of trouble, we rescind and adjudge God as not being faithful forgetting that He is God both in the good times and the bad times. Your circumstances don’t change who He is and the foundational fact that He loves you. He loves you so much that 2000 years before you were even born, He sent His only Son to die for sins that you were yet to commit.When God doesn't bless us as we want, it doesn't mean He isn't blessing us as He wants. (Quote by Unknown Author)
My ratings did not change, but I learnt that my position with God was way more important than anything that was going on around me. There will be days filled with happiness and some days with sadness. There will be days of gladness and days of sorrow. There will be days of plenty and days of lack. But in all these varying circumstances, there is only one constant and that is the fact that there is a God who remains the same yesterday, today and forever and ever. He does not change, He does not sleep nor slumber and guess what, He is watching over you to perform His word concerning you.
So the next time the devil tries to taunt you that God will not show up on your behalf, laugh at him and tell him that God already showed up over 2000 years ago way before you were even born.
@IamOluwaObinna and I am committed to you Peak Performance.