RANDOM THOUGHTS

The human mind is complex yet simple and understanding the way it functions and how we can relate with it can help you attain phenomenal results consistently.

Recently I began to review the challenges we have in this Nation Nigeria and I realized that the major issue with Nigeria is not the system or the structure but the people. Now I can assure you that if you move Americans to this geographical area known as Nigeria and move Nigerians to the geographical area known as America, in about 5yrs, Nigeria will be a better place and America would not be the same and the reason is not far fetched, the people are the nation.

So what is the issue with Nigerians?

I summarize it with one word CHARACTER

Technically, character is a morally neutral term describing the nature of a person in terms of major qualities. So everyone has a character.

In most situations, however, when we are talking about a person’s character we are referring to the sum total of his or her moral qualities: is she a good person or bad person, is he worthy of trust and admiration or not.

So when we say someone has good character we are expressing the opinion that his or her nature is defined by worthy traits like integrity, courage, and compassion. People of good character are guided by ethical principles even when it’s physically dangerous or detrimental to their careers, social standing, or economic well-being. They do the right thing even when it costs more than they want to pay.

Now going by what I just described character to be, can you see why I said the problem with Nigeria is the people?

Maybe I should even ask the question; Will you do the right thing and abide by ethical principles even when it is physically dangerous or detrimental to your career, social standing or economic (financial) well-being? Notice that I didn't bring God into the picture just so you don’t go all religious on me, we are talking morals here.

Keep your answer to yourself and try to imagine how other Nigerians will respond to this question then you will know why despite how religious Nigerians are, it doesn't reflect in the society at all.

No one is born with good character; it’s not a hereditary trait. And it isn't determined by a single noble act. Character is established by conscientious adherence to moral values, not by lofty rhetoric or good intentions. This is why we must be a good example to ourselves first then our children.

Are we teaching our children to be a people of integrity, to be respectful, kind, loving caring, compassionate, to be their neighbor’s keeper, to be gentlemen and ladies, to treat others with respect, to be reliable, to be tolerant and have a good reputation? Are we teaching them values, to be credible, to be accountable, to save and care for the needy?

We owe it to ourselves first and then our children and ultimately Nigeria to be a people of good character.

Good Character begets Strength and it cannot be faulted anywhere in the world.

Be The Change, and together let us make Nigeria Better.

I WEPT

Was standing there in the middle of the room trying to grab a meal, bowl of cereal in hand and then water drops on my arm. I’m thinking; I’m yet to add water to the cereal so water couldn't have splashed from the bowl, so where did that come from?

There comes another drop and another drop and yet another drop, I’m a bit confused now, what exactly is going on?

Then I realized it wasn't water, tears were rolling down my eyes and truth is, it didn't make an iota of sense to me. Why in God’s name am I crying? All of a sudden my hands were beginning to shake, so I drop the bowl of cereal so as not to spill it on my nice Formica floor (can’t even figure out why that silly thought was on my mind at the time), I sit on the floor shaking uncontrollably as the tears flowed in their torrents.

My conscious mind had no idea why I was crying so uncontrollably, but it felt nice, like having a cool shower on a day you weren't even planning on getting up from the bed lol. In my entire adult life, as far as I can remember, this was only the second time I was crying. I didn't even shed a tear when my dad passed, my ideology was that real men suck it up and move on and so did I. plus someone had to be the man and run things on the home front and I couldn't let that someone be anybody else.

The first time ever I shed a tear for whatever reason was a life changing moment that birthed the Obinna that most of you know today and the only human alive that witnessed that was Ebi and that event seems like a very long time ago now, so I’m wondering, what exactly is going on? Could this be another life changing moment? (With hindsight, it was).

Sitting there on the floor, still weeping (crying does not seem to capture the moment properly) uncontrollably, I began to think of what could have “Suddenly” led to this gush of emotions. Then it dawned on me that it wasn't “Sudden”.

I had recently lost my job (which I didn't see coming), my relationship which I thought was okay didn't seem that way anymore and all around me, life seemed to be going on alright without me being an active part of it. I was in a limbo. I have the tendencies of being workaholic, so I intensified my work rate, I kept myself very busy with activities.

If you know me well, you will know that I always have a plan and ten other back up plans in case anything goes wrong with Plan A. I know what I’m going to wear two weeks from now and it is all planned out, I am that meticulous in my planning and here I was in the middle of the park with so much activity going on but no clear sense of direction, but I kept on with the activities.

I had recently reached out to God in a silent brief prayer; “Lord help me, I am sinking”. The tears began to make sense. I could connect that prayer, my activities, and all the events in the recent weeks to the emotional outburst.

While I carried on with the motions of being okay, my sub conscious couldn't take it anymore and needed a release from all the turmoil that was going on inside of me. Hence the tears.

Let me talk a little about activities especially with us church folks.

I know we preach Faith, Positive confessions, Faking it until you make it, etc all of which I am 100% in support of. Trust me, my brothers and I from the cave of Addullam have done some crazy faith stuff that only lives in the imaginations of many. But you see, you must also confront and face your current realities.

In the midst of all the turmoil that was obviously going on within me, I bottled it up and just increased the activities around me to silence the noise going on within and that my dear brother and sister is a highway to depression trust me, I've been there.

We must know when to reach out and who to reach out to.

Yes we keep up the Faith Talk

Yes we keep up the Positive confessions

Yes we keep on the Faith Walk,

But then we must have a channel to let out the welled up emotions or else it will consume you.

Thing is, I don’t know if I would have come to this conclusion had I not said that prayer earlier that day but boy I’m glad I did say the prayer.

And as I sat down there weeping uncontrollably, thinking through details of some of the things I have shared with you while still weeping, I got to a point where I just knew that something had changed. I can’t tell you I heard God say something (I’ll be lying if I say so), but I just knew that something was different, I knew something had changed.

In the midst of my tears, I burst out praying in the Holy Ghost and the interpretation I got of all I was saying was; “Lord use me anyhow you deem fit”.

A few months later I had a sit down with a friend and for the first time I talked about some of the issues I passed through during this period and that chat led to my post on this blog “ITS OKAY TO BE CONFUSED”. If you haven’t read it, please scroll down and do so, and if you have, it’s okay to read it again.

I didn't write this post to gist you how I wept; NO. It is actually 4.30am and I have been awake for the past 2hrs 31mins or so because I have a burden in my heart that someone needs to hear this:

Crying doesn't make you a sissy; it doesn't make you any less a man or woman. The way I see it, it makes you more of a man to show emotions after all, Jesus wept lol. It’s amazing how much better it makes you feel when you let go of all that emotion and burst out, it’s quite therapeutic.

Now some of you might want to lock up yourself somewhere and cry or get a shoulder to lean on, whichever works for you is okay so long as you let go of those piled up emotions, they just might be killing you.

There is someone reading this post right now and it seems as if the whole world is crashing down on you. One of you has this back pain in your upper shoulder region, the other has pains on her right side and it runs all the way from somewhere under your armpits to your waist region another has migraines that comes in passing flashes, I speak a release of the peace of The Lord into you, receive calmness in your spirit man, you are healed.

There is someone else who is on the brink of giving up hope, you are done trying, God said I should tell you to hang in there. Suddenly something will happen that will wipe your tears away.

I am here today, months later and I am way better, I am Stronger, I am Wiser, and above all, I am fulfilling Purpose. I am helping people get out of bad situations, I am helping people find and pursue purpose and truth is, it feels so good.

So talk to someone today. Wives talk to your husbands; Husbands talk to your wives. Don’t let it become an issue before you share it; don’t make them try to figure out what is going on in your head. My guys and babes that are still single, please make yourself accountable to someone, don’t be a lone ranger, it is not safe. Scripture says “In the multitude of ‘godly’ counsel, there is safety.

If you want to, you can talk to me. Send me an email: onyekwere.obinnaya@yahoo.com or follow me on twitter @IamOluwaObinna BB pin: 23275ED1

God Bless You!

WHO SEND YOU?

So I’ve been away for a few weeks now, had to step away from blogging, business, ministry everything for a little while so that I can recharge my inner batteries and boy did I miss writing and sharing with you but not to worry, there are so many deep insights I received during this time out that I would be sharing with you via this medium and on my twitter handle @IamOluwaObinna and I believe that the Oil of gladness will well up on your inside with great revelational knowledge to enable you impact your sphere of influence positively.

Was in a dilemma what to write about first but the more I dwelt on it, the more convinced I was to start from the very beginning.

So I asked the question; Where am I in relation to where You (God) want me to be? Truth is most times the response we get to that question is either mind boggling or depressing so I braced myself for shocker but the response I got made me numb.

Baba: Who sent you???

Me: Huh!!! How can You be asking me that sort of question?

Silence…. I’m thinking; I won’t say anything until He tells me what He meant by that question (forgetting He is omniscient).

Baba: Take a little while and think about it deeply, who sent you?

As I pondered on those words, it began to make sense. I have been carrying out a lot of activities which truthfully made sense to me but I didn't inquire from The Lord before embarking on some of them and then I responded Him and said ‘I sent myself’. From that point onward  it was so easy understanding so many events of the past few months and it was easier charting a road map for the way forward.

Its amazing how God is interested in the most trivial of things that we do, but unfortunately we leave Him out of them and only involve Him in the “Major” things.

So I throw the question back at you; Who sent you?

The guy you are dating now, the babe you are about to marry, the business deal you are on the verge of sealing, the soup you are about to make, the dress you intend to wear for that occasion, the list is endless. Did you inquire of the Lord before any of that?

If you didn't, then don’t come running back to Him when you run into challenges along the way because the question will be; WHO SEND YOU?

Selah!

WHOSE WORK?

I went to bed last night very angry in my spirit for Nigeria, I had just seen the video on youtube of the debacle that went down in the Rivers state house of assembly on Monday where the speaker of the house requested for security at the house of assembly complex to be beefed up and the police were reluctant to respond and when they eventually did, the police men sent to the complex were just watching as mayhem was being perpetrated by men that are supposed to be leaders, fathers and family men, the video even shows one of the police men hitting someone that was obviously pro governor R A and it had to take the governor coming around with his security detail for sanity to be restored not after some combat style display by the security detail attached to the governor who funny enough are also police men.

As if that was not enough, another video shows a clown who obviously is a member of the Vikings confraternity and unfortunately happens to be an “honorable” member of the house storm the same complex with thugs wanting to forcefully enter the chambers with his boys on Tuesday. His claim to fame was that the governor came and supervised the beating up of his colleagues (as if we all didn't see a video clip of what went down the day before) and that the governor insulted his mother (Dame Patience Jonathan) and the President.

This morning, a thought dropped in my heart and I began to see the whole thing in an entirely different light. The clown mentioned above and all the other stooges like him are simply fulfilling purpose howbeit running on another man’s purpose/vision.

Makes me ask the question; the things you are doing both in your life and career, are you fulfilling your purpose or are you running on another man’s vision and helping them fulfill their own purpose?

Maybe I should even ask; can you in one short sentence spell out your purpose in life? If you can, I am very happy for you, it means you have a clear idea where you are headed to in life and there are a few things as fulfilling as clarity of purpose. I’ll like you to do me a favor, I’ll like you to put your purpose down in writing and put it in a place where you can see it always and whenever you take an action or you are considering what actions to take about something, ask yourself; how does this action impact on my purpose? You will find out that there are so many things you bother your head over that are not necessary. 

If you aren't clear about your purpose, ask yourself; what do I love doing? If I offered to pay you N300,000 every month tax free to do whatever you liked, what will that thing be? Your answers to these questions should be a pointer in the direction of purpose; you can also pray and ask God to show you what you are here for since He is our maker and knows for what purpose you were created.

You can book for your coaching session with me, let us help you set and achieve your desired goals. Send an email now to onyekwere.obinnaya@yahoo.com or an sms to +234 806 560 2683.

Stay Cre8ive 

BEFORE YOU LAMENT, REMEMBER!!!

Amazingly, we are in July already and it wasn’t too long ago we were saying happy new year to each other and just like that six months are gone by wow!

If you are like me, I’m sure you’ll have gone through your goals for the year and checked the list to find out what has been done, which of the goals is in the works already and what is yet to be touched or attended to. And assuming you didn't set goals for the year and all you did was make New year resolutions and you seem not to have kept your promise to stick to your resolve (I’m sincerely hoping there are a few people that fall within this category, not that I wish you bad, but a little solidarity doesn't hurt hehehe) not to worry, you are not alone.

I did a double check yesterday, tried to evaluate the first half of the year in terms of some set targets that I had for myself. I broke it down into Spiritual, Financial, Social, Educational and Emotional, I don’t want to bore you with the details of that evaluation but though I had done exceptionally well in some areas, I had failed woefully in certain key areas.

So I sat down to carry out a diagnostic analysis of what went wrong and check why I was unable to even attempt to pursue some of the major goals for the year. As I broke it down, some negative emotions began to well up within me (that voice saying in a condemning tone; you could have done this or said this or made that phone call, or paid that visit, or submitted that proposal, it may vary what the voice may tell you but you have an idea what I’m talking about), unconsciously I was listening to that voice and gradually began to feel regret, remorse, anger, pain… and I was just about to lash out within me when that still small voice said “Before you lament, Remember”.

I stopped in my tracks and immediately entered auto-recall.

I thought about it, I didn't do as well as I had planned, but I didn't do badly either actually I over delivered in some areas. Some people started with me at the beginning of the year but today they are no more. I have not had any cause to be admitted in the hospital neither have I lacked food, clothing or shelter. Most of the things I own some people will kill, rob and commit fraud for. I have obtained favor in so many areas I cannot even remember them all. This year alone I have met with and robbed minds with some very influential people in both the business world and ministry, I have formed new alliances that pose tremendous potentials and assuming none of that was worth anything, I am alive and well today. Wow!!!

So I throw it back to you, I know you wanted to be married by now, I know you should have bought that car or built that house or gotten that job or gone for that course or started that business. There are so many things that you would have loved to do or have, you may even have planned for them but they are yet to materialize but just before you begin to lament and complain, I want you to take a little time and remember what you have.

You are alive, you are well, you can eat and sleep, you drive a car (maybe not but you can afford to take a cab or bus or bike), you live in a house and not the streets, your children are not wayward, they do well in school and even if you don’t have a child yet, you have a spouse that loves you (churches abound with people seeking life partners). You have a job (though it’s not your dream job but you have one), I could go on but I’ll like you to take some time to reflect on those things that you have and you are yet to show gratitude to God for. Before You Lament, Remember.

Yesterday I paid a visit to someone whose wife passed recently and it was an experience that will stay with me for a very long while. We need to be grateful for the things we have now while working on the things we seek to have, today is a definite tomorrow a mystery but the maker of the universe knows it all.

BEFORE YOU LAMENT, REMEMBER!

Stay Thankful. 

IT IS OKAY TO BE CONFUSED

Yesterday was a very good day for me, my pastor was on fire, the message was on something I have always believed in and preached and it re-ignited a fire within my bones.  I wrote more articles in one day than I have done in a long while and that felt really good because when I speak and write, I really am in my elements. Then I had a meeting with a brother and friend and the content of this post is an outcome of one of the so many things we discussed. I’m leaving out the part of the day that was spent with the “SHE who must be obeyed” ‘cos that’s none of your business lol.

There are some people you meet and it seems as if God cut you guys out of the same mould if you know what I mean, my meeting yesterday was with one of such people and I hold him very dear to my heart. It’s amazing how my light bulbs light up each time we meet and I always leave with fresh ideas and rejuvenated momentum to influence the business world so Bro we have to hold more of these our sessions (I know he’s reading this and has a big grin on his face right now) .

My purpose is to help you be all that you were created to be and that makes me to keep seeking new ways to help you succeed. I have heard so many success stories and I have read countless books on the success of people and businesses, I have even studied the trajectory of my life and accomplishments and of it all, I can make bold to say that IT IS OKAY TO BE CONFUSED sometimes.

I know so many motivational and inspirational speakers (like me) and books have told you how you should have a clearly set goal and a plan to achieve that goal and a set timeline to attaining the goal and I’m completely not trying to undermine the importance of all of that because they are actually quite key because “when purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable”, I am saying that it is okay sometimes not to have an idea of what’s next.

It is okay sometimes not to know the type of person you want to marry, it is okay sometimes not to know what career to choose, it is okay sometimes not to know what business you want to go into, it is okay sometimes not to have clarity about your life and purpose, it is okay sometimes to be in doubt, it is okay sometimes to be afraid, it is okay sometimes not to know what the plan is but IT IS NOT OKAY TO REMAIN THERE.

As human beings, there are periods of uncertainty associated with wavering emotions that has a drowning-like feeling to it, anyone that has been there before can associate with what I’m saying. It seems as if the whole world is passing by you and you are the only one on standstill (wink at the screen if you know what I mean lol) I want you to know that you are not the only one that ever felt or feels that way, what you are going through is not peculiar to you and its okay to feel that way but I reiterate that it’s a taboo to remain there.

Staying in that place of uncertainty for too long is a major cause of depression and believe me when I say this, depression is a killer. As a Life Coach I’ve come across people with suicidal tendencies stemming from depression so I know what I’m talking about, we are not talking depression today so I won’t elaborate on that, we will have a platform soon where we will discuss “Deadly Emotions” I’ll keep you posted. What I’m saying is that you cannot afford to remain in that place of uncertainty for too long, it is risky business.

I believe and teach that there are no un-resourceful people, only un-resourceful states. When you find yourself in that state of uncertainty, it could be one of two things:

1. It might be an opportunity for you to learn more about the power embedded in your sub-conscious mind. Scripture says “I have not given you a spirit of fear but of Love of Power and a SOUND MIND”, You are actually more resourceful and powerful than you know but sometimes you may need someone to help you mine the vast resources of your mind I can help you with that. You can book for a Coaching session with me, send an email to onyekwere.obinnaya@yahoo.com you’ll be glad you did.
2. It may be God seeking your attention to surrender your will to Him. Sometimes we run ahead of God and do some things that we think are right and somewhere in between we get stock and lost in the middle of a mess and all God is waiting for is for you to invite Him to take charge and guide you out of the mess and into His perfect will for you.

Whichever one it is, don’t allow yourself remain in that un-resourceful state. It’s amazing how a simple prayer like “Lord I don’t know what to do help me and please order my steps” can turn everything around in your favour.

It is okay to be confused, but don’t stay confused. Do something about it.

Stay Blessed.

ff me on twitter @IamOluwaObinna

APPRECIATE

A friend of mine sent this to me this morning and I thought it wise to share with you. Short story but very precise:

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.
A man was walking by and took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around and wrote some words on it. He put the sign back on the boy so that everyone who walked by could see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up, a lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. Later that afternoon the man who had changed the sign came by that path and the boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?" The man answered and said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way. "I wrote: Today is a beautiful day, but I cannot see it."
Both signs told people that the boy was blind, but the first sign simply said the boy was blind while the second sign reminded people how fortunate they were to have their sight. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the story: Be thankful for what you have, Be Creative and Innovative in giving thanks to God. Think differently and positively. When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. Face your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Its a beautiful thing to see a person smile but even more beautiful to know that you put the smile on their face!
 Faith is not about everything being ok, Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out.

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Impact your generation Positively.

God Bless You